The Doctor's Darkest Day
by PulcherAnima
Summary: Ten/Rose and it's better than it sounds. No matter how much The Doctor runs, he can't escape his past, feelings, or memories. Even he has his dark days.


**Ah back for another story! I do not Own Doctor Who, so that's out the way. Let's move on with the story.**

The engines of the TARDIS hummed softly, a calming noise. One lone figure stood at the console, staring off in to space. Right now he was thinking of somewhere distant and long gone, a place he could never return to. It was a place with burnt orange skies and deep red grass. The trees had silver leaves on them. A domed city stood watching over the land. In that city stood a race as old as the universe itself, a race of watchers, guiders, wise and peaceful. Then a war struck and they were gone. Now he was the last, and he stood in the only thing that remained of this lost world. The last TARDIS, and on that last TARDIST stood the last of a long gone race, The Doctor. He was the last Time Lord.

It wasn't often that The Doctor stood and reminisced of his long gone home land. Usually he didn't look back, always running. What good would looking back and thinking of a long dead planet do him? He lost everything, only he remained and his memories along with this TARDIS. Something about today compelled him to stand there and think of such fond and happier times. His hearts longed to take one last look at the beautiful sky with two suns. What was it that compelled his hearts to long for a place he knew he couldn't return to? This certainly wasn't like him at all. How long he actually stood there staring, he didn't know until he heard a familiar voice calling for him in the distant reality.

"…and never mind. I'll come back later," he heard a female voice saying to him. He wasn't really paying it any attention. It was pretty obvious. Vaguely he registered the sound of his companion, but he didn't pay her any mind.

"What?"

"Nothing…"

"Yeah…"

"I said it's nothing…"

"Yeah…"

"I'm going to paint the TARDIS yellow…"

"Yeah…"

Suddenly he felt a slap on the cheek and turned to look at the offending source. He stared when he saw Rose glaring at him and he gulped. "What was that for?" He whined and rubbed his cheek.

"You weren't listening to a damn thing I said!" Rose turned and folded her arms, "You promised to take me some place amazing but you've been standing here staring off in to space all day…"

The Doctor stared at her. His brown eyes widened as he remembered his promise, "I am so so sorry. I am so sorry Rose." He took her hands and looked at her with such apologetic puppy eyes. "It's a little late now, but I promise I'll take you the day after tomorrow."

Rose huffed, "Why not tomorrow?"

"Because…" He ran a hand through his head, "I…can't take you anywhere tomorrow."

Rose stared at him, obviously upset, "Why not?"

The Doctor tried to think up his best lie. He couldn't tell her the truth. "I just can't. I don't have a good explanation for it, but I can't. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Why not? You've been acting like this for a whole week. I'm sick of it. If it's that much of a pain and an inconvenience, then don't bother." She turned and started to walk off. The pain and hurt in her voice really ate at The Doctor. He couldn't stand to see his precious Rose so upset. She was stung by his behavior and he hadn't noticed until now. He decided just this one he wouldn't sit around and that tomorrow he'd take her somewhere special despite what day it would be.

The next morning he found himself at the console, pulling on levers. He turned a few knobs and flipped a few switches just as Rose came walking in the door. She walked over to him and tapped him on the shoulder.

"Good morning Rose," The Doctor turned and said to the blonde, flashing a smile.

"I want to go home," she sounded so depressed. She had no reason to be depressed today however.

"Now why would you want to do that?" The Doctor ran around the other side and turned another knob and then picked up the small hammer and hit something twice before running back and turning another knob. "I could take you home, or," he stopped and looked at her, "You can step out those doors and see something magnificent. Your choice." The Time Lord took one step back and shoved his hands in his pocket, giving her his big goofy smile.

Rose looked at him and then moved a few strands of her beautiful golden hair out of the way. "I thought you said you weren't going to take me anywhere? I figured the least you could do is take me home… So you lied?"

The Doctor ran a hand through his hair, "No I didn't lie, but does it matter? I changed my mind and I am honoring my word. Out those doors is something amazing. Are you going to look or are we going to stand and pointlessly argue about something that doesn't matter? I'm not in the mood to argue, so let's go have an adventure." He started off in a cheery mood, but the more he talked the more his voice quickly showed his true mood. He was just full of anger and irritation. Before Rose had shown up he had been depressed, now his mood quickly shifted to anger. It wasn't unusual for him to go from dark to cheery in her presence but this was different. Why was he so irritated with Rose? Now his words were clipped and full of anger. The look on her face wounded his hearts, but that is a price to pay when one travelled with him. She could either get over it and go with him or go home if she so badly wanted to. The Doctor should have cared, but right now he didn't.

Rose stared at him before nodding slowly, "Fine. You don't have to get angry. What did I ever do to you?"

Before he could help himself he venomously spat, "You nagged me in to this. I should think you'd remember you bitching since it has only been twenty four hours. Or do humans just forget things on a whim?"

Rose flinched at his tone and then she lost it, which wasn't the thing to do right now, but she yelled right back at him, "Well shoot me for wanting you do something you've been promising me for the last week! I'm so sorry oh great Time Lord that I wanted to go somewhere amazing."

"And all the other places I took you were not amazing?" He lost it then and actually grabbed her, "I keep forgetting it's hard to please you humans! I don't think I appreciate your tone! You act as if I'm your pet dog or something of the sort and that I'm just going to do what you say. Who do you think you are ordering me about? If you're that unhappy here then I can shove you out of MY TARDIS and leave you at home! You can go back to your ordinary life of telly, fish and chips." Before he realized it, he had her pinned up against the TARDIS console.

"I had to go and pick up another stupid human. A selfish uncaring stupid human. Did you ever once bother to ask me what was bothering me? Once?" He took a deep breath before continuing on his tirade. "Did you ever think to ask? Once? What happened to caring about me, huh? Or was that your little lie, just like you pretended to care about me when you tricked me to go take you back to see your dad, huh? Remember that, Rose? It happened not too long ago in my previous regeneration. Oh but I remember. By the way, I didn't want to go anywhere today because I wanted to take time to remember my planet which is gone! Today is the day my people ceased to exist, not that you obviously cared. Some companion you are. They're gone and they can never come back. My home is gone. You have that wonderful luxury of always going back to your home. Where am I supposed to go Rose?"

Letting her go and taking a step back, he took in just how much he had hurt her. He ran a hand through his brown hair, "I am so sorry. That's why I didn't want to go. It's pointless to look back, but I can't help it. You" he pointed right at her like he did on Christmas day, "You had to go and piss me off. I hope you're happy." The Doctor spun on his heels and stormed off. He took a series of different turns until he found that special room on the TARDIS.

Walking in through the doors, he looked up to see that bright burnt orange sky with two suns. He walked out and then stretched out in the red grass. It wasn't home, but it would certainly do for when he was upset. Right then he hated himself, hated the universe, and he was angry at Rose, so angry he could've raised his hand to her, but he didn't. No matter how angry he became, he wouldn't ever hurt her like that. Though right now he doubted she'd want to be near him after that nasty rant he just gave to her. Usually he was in control of his emotions, but they got the best of him today, because today he was too filled with anger and hatred to stop his self. Today he was The Oncoming Storm. Memories of his people dying, and the war clouded his mind, blocked out the noise of all of time that ran through his head. That rage which was like fire and ice flowed through his veins, and he felt like screaming, like crying. All he was was a lonely Time Lord with no home and only a companion who he just now pushed away as he had been doing all week. That's one thing he was good at, pushing people away from his self.

Or so he thought until he felt someone embrace him. The offending person had to come just as he started to cry.

"I don't know how you found this room, but would you kindly go away please?" His voice sounded so hurt, so pathetic to his own ears that it made him even more hateful. The Time Lord hated himself for losing so much control, for not being able to run from his past, from his memories, and from his own pain and loneliness.

"I'm not going anywhere. Forget some stupid planet. You've got a time machine, It can wait." Rose embraced him further and ran her hands through his hair, "I didn't mean to find this place. I was going to my room and your TARDIS changed the hallways. She obviously wanted me here…" The Doctor smiled despite himself, though it didn't long before he ended up sobbing again and curled up next to Rose, resting his head on her shoulder.

Softly he began to speak, "I am so sorry for what I said. I can't take it back entirely because some of it is based in truth. I don't hate you. I was just angry. Angry at myself and the universe. Why do the Daleks always survive and I lose everything? My people were so peaceful, guiding the universe and they were repaid in war, bloodshed and I lost my home, family, and friends. Why am I so kind? Why do I try so hard and I receive nothing in return. I never ask for anything. I sometimes wish I could bring them back. I'm so lonely Rose." His voice cracked and he choked back a sob, "I hate this sometimes. I can't help it. I envy you humans sometimes. You all get conquered, kill each other and yet you survive. You survive the one race that, like an infestation, spreads throughout the galaxy. Why? You're so weak and you die so fast… Why did I lose my entire race, but everyone else gets to live?"

He looked up at Rose, his Rose, who he loved, "Sometimes I think about just joining my people, but I'm too afraid to. Plus, then I'd be hurting the one I love. I can't leave her all alone. I can't leave you alone. I love you so much it scares me. Like your race, you'll cease to exist one day. You'll wither and die and I'll be alone until I probably pluck some other human off the planet Earth. I hate being a Time Lord for this reason… I'm so sorry that I am burdening you with this. You're all I have right now with the exception of my TARDIS. I love you so much."

He wrapped his arms around Rose and ended up breaking down one last time. After a few minutes, his breathing became even. Rose looked down to discover that The Doctor had fallen asleep. She embraced him tighter, never letting go, and that was just fine with the Time Lord. He sighed and a small smile spread across his features and he sighed contently. The look on his face as he slept was peaceful, untouched by the troubles, the turbulent emotions he had just vented. After hearing his pain, Rose couldn't even be angry anymore, in fact, she understood The Doctor just a little bit more. Who needs to go see some silly planet? Right now she had an amazing being, the last of the Time Lords asleep curled up close to her. That was more than she could ever ask for. As long as he'd let her, she'd travel with him and be the one thing he lived for, and love him dearly, just as he loved her.

**I apologize for how dark and depressing as well as OC this story became. Now I'll be returning to work on my other stories. Until next time…**


End file.
